Celebrities get freebies all year.
But free dinners from restaurants and gifts from adoring fans have nothingon the 2016 Oscar nominee swag bag that contains single gifts worth more than you make all year.
In its entirety, the bag is has a retail value of $220,000.
No wonder it’s “just a privilege to be nominated.”
A First-Class Trip To Israel – $55,000
For 10 days, Oscar-nominated celebs have the opportunity to vacation in Israel for 10 days.
That’s $5,500 per day.
And that’s insane.
A Lifetime Supply Of Lizora Skin Care Products – $31,200
Considering Lizora’s products are actually reasonably priced, that’s a whole lot of tea-infused natural soap.
Personalized M&M’s – $300
Because who doesn’t want to see M&M’s with their face on them?
A Years Worth of Audi Car Rentals From Silvercar – $45,000
Does that include the extra insurance?
A Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer – $250
Three Private Fitness Training Sessions With This Guy – $1,400
His name is James Cardiello. He’s a personal trainer to the stars and he’s pretty intense.
This Fancy Toilet Paper – $275
This box of fancy toilet paper from Joseph’s Toiletries is called “The Welcomer.” It costs $275. We’ll reserve our jokes…
A ‘Vampire Breast Lift’ – $1,900
Basically a doctor will oxygenate your blood and re-inject it into your breasts, somehow making them perkier and less… grey.
So now you can add “grey breasts” to your list of insecurities!
Oh! And A 15-day Walking Tour Of Japan – $45,000
So that’s like… $3,000 per walk?
Fit Club TV Ultimate Fitness Package – $6,250
Fit Club TV provides the workout gear, training, supplements and a private villa experience.
The downside is that you still have to work out.
Ultherapy From 740 Park MD – $5,530
It’s an ultrasound for your face that actually gives it a lift. Really.
Jennifer Lopez is rumored to be a user.
A Stay At Grand Hotel Tremezzo – $5,000
This Italianhotel and resort is just one hour away from Milan. It’s better than the Super 8.
A Stay At Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria – $5,000
Another hotel located in Italy.
Eh, looks OK, I guess.
A 3-day Stay At Golden Door Spa – $4,800
Three days of pampering in San Marcos, California, allfo’ freeeee!
Johnny Depp and a Storm Of Celebrities Star In This TREMENDOUS Fake Donald Trump Biopic
Did They Stump The Trump?
Donald Trump’s life has always been ripe for parody.
Johnny Depp thinks so, too. And Patton Oswalt. And Ron Howard. And Henry Winkler. And the other celebrities who star in Funny Or Die’s 80’s-style “TV movie” take on Trump’s seminal business book, “The Art of the Deal.”
No matter how you feel about Trump, the parody has a little something for everyone.
And yeah, that’s Johnny Depp as Trump pictured above. He’s basically unrecognizable, which lets you totally tune out that one of Hollywood’s hunks is playing the Trumpster.
Ron Howard Prefaces The Film
Patton Oswalt Stars As Media Mogul Merv Griffin
Michaela Watkins Is Ivana Trump
Alfred Molina Is Trump’s Lawyer, Jerry Schrager